My Husband

Eight years ago this past November Ethan and I met. We were at Ford Field for the Hillsdale / Wayne State football game, and happened to be at the same tailgate. I will never forget E winking to me from across the room. A little less than 10 months after we met Ethan proposed to me. When you know you know! We had a ten month engagement, and were married on July 15, 2006.

We have done a lot together. When you get married at 23 you can do that!  We began our careers together, have lived in five different homes throughout Michigan, Indiana and Ohio, we have traveled the United States and Europe together, along with several vacations in the Caribbean and Mexico, E attended grad school full time, we had our precious Isabel at the beginning of his second year of MBA school, once he graduated we moved to Ohio so he could begin his career with Cummins Bridgeway. This list goes on, but needless to say we have been through a lot together!

This past November I remember sitting next to Sophia in the NICU just thinking about my life eight years ago and up until that present moment. If you would have told me that my life would be going down this very unexpected road I would never have believed it. But as I sat there, I thought about Ethan and me and how incredibly blessed I am to have such an amazing man by my side during the good and the hard times of my life. And I just thanked God for giving me this man to be my partner throughout this life. He protects me, supports me, takes care of our family and works extremely hard.

When Sophia was born she was taken directly to Akron Children's hospital. I was on Magnesium Sulfate due to the pre-eclampsia and had to remain on it for twelve hours after delivery. I sent Ethan to be with our daughter, and I would head over to Children's as soon as I could. While I sat in the hospital watching the clock Ethan was directly involved with the doctors and Sophia. During this time the doctors began to be concerned something was wrong with Sophia's heart so they called for further testing. Ethan decided not to tell me, and asked our family to do the same. He did not want me to just sit in the hospital room with even more worry. He took all the worry onto his own shoulders and held strong for our family.

There were so many occasions during the week of living in the NICU we would receive news regarding Sophia's health. I know that if I did not have this amazing godly man standing by my side and holding my hand I would have been a wreck.  After every new piece of information we would receive, Ethan just  continued to confirmed that we love our daughter and we will do whatever we need to in order to help her. He showed me in so many ways the true meaning of unconditional love. He is a true role model.

After we received Sophia's diagnosis she was released from the NICU and sent to the palliative care floor at Akron Children's. She stayed there one night. It was on Sunday, we were debating whether we should bring her home or not. I was scared we would not be able to take care of her, I was scared to have hospice at our home, I was scared about how Isabel would handle bringing her home and then having to explain why she had to leave so soon, I was scared about falling in love with her even more and having to see my daughter leave our house for the last time. I was just scared. Ethan was strong. He was strong for Sophia. He was strong for our family. He looked me in the eyes and said, " Sarah, we need to bring our daughter home." I knew he was right. At that moment my love for him grew even more. He is the most amazing leader in our family. He has courageous, and knows and does what is right. I am so proud that he is my husband and an amazing leader for our family.

Sophia passed away on December 3 just a little after 5 o'clock in the evening. Ethan was holding her when the Lord took her into His own arms. Ethan again lead our family in the most incredible way. He had Isabel come up from the basement to say good by to her sister and give her a kiss. (I wanted to skip that part entirely mainly because I did not want to face the heartbreak I knew Isabel would endure.) He knew what was right and we did it. I am so thankful Isabel had those few moments to say good bye to her sister.

It was about two hours later after Sophia's passing when Ethan then did another courageous thing. A thing no daddy should ever have to do, but he did it. The funeral director came to our house to pick up our little angel. Ethan walked her out to the hearse and placed her in it. No daddy should ever have to do that, but my husband did. He walked our daughter out of the house for the very last time. I remember like it was yesterday, we stood on our side porch in each others arms with tears streaming down our faces and we watch the hearse pull out of our driveway. I will never forget that moment. We then walked back into the house hand and hand. Our lives will always be changed.

Throughout the weeks since Sophia was born, Ethan has listened to me say the same things over and over and over again as I try to process what has gone in our life. He has been a shoulder for me to lean and cry on. He has made me laugh. He has just held me in silence when he knows I have just needed the comfort of him. He has been a godly leader in our home. And he and I together have leaned on God more than we probably ever have.

Ethan and my relationship will never be the same.  Living through this "storm" has developed such a deeper level of love and respect for my husband than I ever thought possible. I will never be able to express in words how much my incredible husband means to me, and what an amazing man I know he is. I am married to someone who is  extra special.  I am so blessed.

Ethan and me on our wedding day! 

The two of us with our precious Sophia!