One Month

It has been one month. One month since I kissed my baby girl's cheeks. One month since I snuggled her. One month since I held her hands. One month since I said good bye. I can't believe it has been one month already.

Many times people say, "life goes on". While this is true, and the days have gone by since our sweet Sophia's departure from this earth, I now have a different perspective of this phrase. While life does go on, life will never be the same. Life has been touched by our sweet baby girl. People who we do not even know us, but have only heard our story through friends of friends of friends have had their lives touch by Sophia.  Her 16 days on this Earth has forever changed so many people, so many hearts and so many lives forever. She has changed me. She has taught me compassion, unconditional love in a whole new way, courage, and the ability to be strong through tough situations. She has also reminded that no matter how dark and hard things may seem, the Lord is always with me. As I continue down this road and journey of life on earth, my life will always be better for I held and loved an angel. Not many are chosen to the Mommy to an angel.

While today could have been really hard on me, it actually turned out to be really nice. Now don't get me wrong, I did have some moments of tears and sadness, but for the most part it was a great day. Isabel and I played and played and played (as she puts it) this morning. I took her over to my friend Lori's house late morning so Isabel could stay with her sitter while Lori and I went out to do something fun. We ended up having lunch and just talking (for over 2 hours)! I could not believe it was almost three when we looked at the time. We laughed and cried and talked a lot about precious Sophia. She mentioned to me that she believes that although her brother and grandparents never knew our Sophia here on Earth, she was sure they greeted her and are with her in Heaven because of Sophia's connection to her. That gave me so much comfort.  (Then that made me think about all the connections Sophia has in Heaven, and what a welcome home party they must have had for her in Heaven when she arrived! Wow, it must have been something!)  Isabel and I came home late afternoon and went for a walk down our snowy neighborhood sidewalks. She was so excited to try out her new wagon! We had dinner with Ethan and then it was bedtime for Isabel. Every night she chooses one book for me to read to her.  The "Heaven is for Real - For Kids"  book was sitting on a table in our family room, and she went right over to it and said, "How about this one tonight, Mommy?" I could not believe it!  On her sister's one month anniversary of going to Heaven that is the book she chose to read. (We had not even mentioned the  date to her today.) The book is extra special as well because a friend of ours, Carrie Stanley, brought the book to us the day Sophia came home from the hospital. She put Sophia's hand and footprints on the inside of the book. Next to the prints she wrote,"To Isabel Love, Sophia".  So we touch Sophia's prints and talked about her some. Isabel loved reading the book, and got so excited during the part which says, "Jesus loves the little children". That melted my heart.

Ethan and I now sit here in our family room as I write and he watches TV. We made it through today with grace as we remembered our girl and the impact she left on this world. Tomorrow life will continue on. I will remind myself how extra special she was. How many people can say they made a huge impact to the story of this life in just 16 days? Sophia did! Sophia sure is extraordinary!

This photo was taken one month ago today.  It was our last photo taken with Ethan, Sophia and me before she went to Heaven. 

A sweet moment with my girls!